Metallsjangre

[Akira]

Hva liker du best? Jeg har ikke tatt hensyn til subsjangre.

En metallband avstemning kommer litt senere. Og jeg foreslår at dere kan sende inn forslag til hvilke store band som da burde representeres.

Fortell gjerne hva du stemte og hvorfor. Da kan du også gjerne fortelle hva for subsjangre du liker best, eller hvordan du liker det best satt sammen. Eksempler: melodiøs black, industriell death, metalcore med speed og death. Da kan du like godt si hvilke band du liker best innen den sjangeren.

[Sauegjeteren]

Hadde en forklaring på sjangrene vært tingen eller? Jeg skjønner ikke stort jeg hvertfall.

[Simen]

Heavy Metal helt klart, og da Metallica.

Noe annet synes jeg enten blir grumsete, skummelt eller harry.

[DucKfish]

Veit ikke helt hva System of a Down kommer under, men stemmte i alle fall heavy!

[Faile]

stemte viking, men ligger en plass både inni viking og black.

thyrfing og windir er absolutt verdt å få med seg, men det regnet jeg med at du visste fra før.

tror dette er en av de sjangrene det er skapt flest fordommer mot... litt synd, for musikken er vakker! ^^

[Akira]

Veit ikke helt hva System of a Down kommer under, men stemmte i alle fall heavy!

Joda, de er heavy. Jeg kan si så mye som at de er veldig vanskelige å sette i en sjanger, men hvis det skulle bli en så måtte det bli heavy. Dette har jeg og andre kommet frem til etter en del diskusjon og undersøking.

[Akira]

Her har vi en liten sånn sjangerkjennetegn greie. Noen av sjangrene fikk jeg ikke med meg i pollen, men det er sikkert ikke så viktig.

This is the situation: There is a beautiful princess trapped in a castle watched by a dragon. Here is the end of the story by the different metal heads:

Power Metal:
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and make love with her in an enchanted forest

Trash Metal:
The protagonist arrives, fight the dragon, saves the princess and fuck her......easy

Heavy Metal:
The protagonist arrives on a Harley Davidson, kills the dragon, drinks some beers and fucks the princess

Folk Metal:
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments; the dragon fell asleep(by all the dancing) Then all leaves.. Without the princess..

Viking Metal:
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, cook and eat it, rape the princess to death, robs the castle and burn the entire place before leaving..

Death Metal:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves...

Black Metal:
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in the front of the castle, then sodomize the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her.. Then he impales the unvirgin princess..

Gore Metal:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spread its guts in the front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her.. Then he fucks again her dead body, slash her belly and eat her guts, then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burn the corpse and fuck it for the last time.

Doom Metal:
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks that he never could beat it, and then he gets depressed and commits suicide.. .The dragon eat his body, and the princess as well.. End of the sad story..

Progressive Metal:
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo for 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself of the boring act. The protagonist arrives to the princess´ bedroom, plays another solo with the techniques and tunes learned in the last year of the conservatory.. The princess escape looking for the "Heavy Metal protagonist"

Glam Metal:
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laugh of the guys appearance and let him enter.. He steals the princess´ make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour...



Og denne:

What kind of metal-guy are you?

Black Metal
Churches burst into flame at your passing.

Classic (Heavy) Metal
Every article of clothing you touch turns to leather. All vehicles you touch turn into Harleys.

Death Metal
Plants die in your presence.

Doom Metal
Everything within fifty feet of you turns grey and spontaneously ages about 50 years, seemingly without explanation.

Grind Metal
You blitz through every task given in about 30 seconds, no matter how inappropriate. High stress and premature ejaculation are recurring problems.

Progressive Metal
The instant you do or say anything, people fall asleep from boredom.

Nu-Metal
Whenever you have lunch money, other metalheads instinctively flock to you and to take it from you after they beat you up.

Power Metal
You actually try to threaten someone with a sword duel or magic spells. And it works.

Trash Metal
You can permanently stain white clothes just by looking at them.

Glam Metal
Divine of Pink Flamingos fame is your hero.

Gore Metal
You were rejected for jobs at a slaughterhouse, a funeral home, a mortuary, a taxidermy studio, and an illegal cagefighting venue because all of your prospective employers thought you were "too enthusiastic."

Hair Metal
Live free, die young, leave a beautiful corpse. Also, your hairstyle has reached such magnitude that it is now legally recognized as a sovereign nation.

Speed Metal
You break everything you touch, and your body cannot handle any beverage lower than 200 proof.

Shred Metal
You perform all your tasks at great speed, but it's all just show. In reality, it takes you just as long to get the same amount of work done. You quickly burn yourself out, but never admit it, leading to some rather embarassing stories about your love life.

Viking Metal
Christians, Slaves, and Celts flee at the sight of you. You always travel with other Viking metalheads in groups you refer to as "raiding parties" and "pillage" the supermarket for a snack/beer run ritualistically.

Dette burde gi dere en bra oversikt.

[Ashaman]

Skulle gjerne ha stemt flere sjangere!
Stemte heavy, men liker også power og viking/folk godt!

[Faile]

Akira, ser ut som du og jeg blir de eneste på denne pollen, som ikke heller mot heavy.

men, kan vi no for at black metal og viking metal er mye finere enn heavy?

[Terje]

Symfonisk svartmetall eller ditto dødsmetall er jo litt stilig. Det samme gjelder det meste av trash, og en del goth.

Er ikke så veldig glad i Power, Prog., eller sånt Iron Maiden-tull.

[Akira]

Akira, ser ut som du og jeg blir de eneste på denne pollen, som ikke heller mot heavy.

men, kan vi no for at black metal og viking metal er mye finere enn heavy?

Nei.

Melodiøs black/viking/doom, industriell death, extreme og metalcore med speed, death og trash er nok mine favoritter. Der er det mye pent og tungt. En fellesnevner for meg, er at growl, brøl, skrik helst burde dominere eller være en sentral del av hva jeg hører på. Jeg gjør selvfølgelig unntak til tider, men det er uansett da det er penest.

[Sammael]

Bare to stemmer til Black? det var vanskelig å velge mellom black og viking, men avgjørelsen endta da på black

[Stine]

jeg begynte å mislike black etter at mayhem prøvde å kaste et grisehode på meg.

[Kjetil]

jeg misliker egentlig det meste av metall, så jeg burde vel strengt tatt ikke poste i denne posten?

Eller, når jeg tenker meg om liker jeg noe. Så lenge du kan høre tekstene, og musikken er litt melodiøs.

[Akira]

Bare to stemmer til Black? det var vanskelig å velge mellom black og viking, men avgjørelsen endta da på black

Det var hyggelig av deg.

Men altså, jeg klarte å glemme å sette opp Goth, Progressive, Grind, Shred og Hair. Jaja.